01-26-2013, 06:40 PM
Here's my schedule for a bad day:
1. Getting out of bed and stepping on something sharp/gooey/disgusting/too big that it makes you trip and stumble.
2. Taking a shower only to discover you are out of shampoo/soap/deodorant.
3. You put on your clothes and zipper breaks/seat of the pants rip/lose a button/discover they shrunk in the wash.
4. You look at the clock and see that you're late. There's no time for breakfast so you grab a bagel/a piece of cold toast/a gulp of lukewarm coffee/a slug of milk from the jug and dash off.
5. You start the car and it won't start because of a dead battery/loose starter wire/whatever.
6. So you have to drive another car/take public transportation/take a cab/call a friend for a jump or a ride.
7. Traffic's snarled up on the freeway, so that makes you even more late than ever.
8. You finally arrive at work and the first thing that greets you is a memo from your boss/coworker/assistant, and it's not good news either, because...
9. ...there was a screw-up on a work order/report/file/letter/invoice/whatever and you realize it's YOUR fault, so...
10. You do your best to rectify things, and it takes all morning, putting you behind schedule, so you end up working through lunch.
11. In the afternoon, after a quick and much needed cup of coffee, you scramble to get caught up, only to get a telephone call from your spouse/mother/the principal at your kid's school/the school nurse/a bail bondsman demanding your immediate attention regarding your spouse/kid(s)/good for nothing brother-in-law, though you insist you can't spare the time, so you...
12. Tell your boss/assistant/co-workers you have to attend to some serious personal business and have to leave early, assuring them you will get caught up tomorrow for sure.
13. So you leave work to meet with the principal or nurse/pick up your kid(s)/pick up your spouse/meet with the bail bondsman/whatever only to discover that it really wasn't that serious in the first place.
14. Frustrated with the way your day is going, you seek refuge in a gym/health club/golf course/bar/diner/topless strip club, only to discover you left your wallet at home and can't pay for anything, so...
15. You head on home, driving VERY carefully so you won't get pulled over and get arrested for driving without a license...
16. ...which, unfortunatly, is exactly what happens because you also have a busted tail light. You get a ticket and, since the police officer won't let you drive, you call your spouse/neighbor/co-worker/whomever is available to come pick you up.
17. While you are waiting, you feel the call to nature and look around for a place to relieve yourself. You spot a doughnut shop nearby, so you trek on over to use the restroom...
18. ...only to see a sign that reads "Restrooms for Customer Use Only."
19. Frustrated, you trek back to your car, stumble into a grassy ditch, getting your clothes all dirty, duck down as far as you can and take a quick leak. Dressing yourself, you see your spouse/neighbor/co-worker/whomever arrive. He/she bought a friend/neighbor/newly-licensed teenaged son or daughter to drive your car back home.
20. You stumble back up the slope and greet them. Then you get into your car and let your spouse/neighbor/co-worker/whomever drive you home while the friend/neighbor/newly-licensed teen drive the other car.
21. For the first time that day, you relax, thanking God this rotten day was over. Before you know it, you're finally back home. The first thing you see is the daily mail piled up on the floor/side table/kitchen counter, so you sift through it...
22. And discover you are facing foreclosure/being audited by the IRS/summoned for jury duty/getting sued by a collection agency.
23. You want to scream/throw things/punch somebody/hang yourself.
Is that bad enough for you?