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After Criss and his mom came in he walked over to Nikki, her mom, and Felix. "Thank god I thought you got lost for a second there"Felix said Criss said nothing as he looked at Believe. I would known if my brother is depressed echoed in his mind. "Christopher"his mother said. He looked at his mother than walked over to the production office. Nikki went in and saw Criss just pacing. "Criss something wrong?"she asked. "I'm nervous about having another reaction like JD had or my fans leaving me or me back on a suicide watch for another three days"he said. Nikki sat Criss down. "I'm going to show you something that came in just yesterday for you". She went into the closet and took out a box of letters for Criss. "These are from your fans"she remarked and Criss read some of them. We're behind you Criss, You've helped me realize that I'm suffering from depression and I'm getting help, I suffer from it and there's nothing wrong with it Criss were from some of the letters he looked at.

"You shouldn't worry Criss your fans are behind you one hundred percent and your crew will understand. JD was just in shock that he didn't see the signs but he's all right now". Criss smiled and gave Nikki a hug. "What would I have done if you wouldn't around"he said. "You'd be suffering in silence or you'd be with your father" she replied. Criss came back out with Nikki and walked over to Believe. In Believe everyone was sitting and talking but when Criss came in the place was quiet. Criss got on the stage and stood there. "You're probably wondering where I've been for the past three days. It's because I was under a suicide watch"he stated. "What JD finally thought it was time"Banachek joked. The crew expect George and Nikki laughed. "I wish but it's because I wanted to jump off the hotel next door"Criss replied. "That's not funny Criss"Luke remarked. "Guys what I'm trying to say is that I've been suffering from a moderate case of depression that jumped the fence to severe enough for me to be put on a seventy two hour pysch hold"Criss replied. "So it's true that you have depression"Doug stated. Criss nodded. George got up and walked on stage. He said nothing but gave Criss a hug. "Thanks cous"Criss whispered in his ear. "I'm here for you cous" he replied.

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After George finished hugging Criss he went back to his seat. "Criss I've got a question?" Luke inquired. "What is it?". "That day me and your brother got you out of your room and you had blisters on yor back was that because of your depression?". "Yea I would spend all my free time in bed in darkness"Criss remarked looking at the floor. "When did you realize that you were-" Banachek couldn't even say the word. "I had someone who realized it and with her help I got the help I needed and she's been there kind of like my guardin angel" Criss stated smiling. "Criss whatever happens we're behind you on whatever you need" Erich said. "Thanks". After everyone left Criss sat on the stage he looked at his wrist which had little scars on it. (Past) At the Airforce base Criss had finished shaving when he looked at himself in the mirror. Then he looked at his razor and took out the blade out of it. Criss put the razor to his wrist and cut it a little than again.

(Present) "Criss you all right?". Criss looked up and saw Nikki sitting infront of me. "I've got a confession this wasn't the first time I had those thoughts. Last year when you went to your cousin's wedding and I filmed my mine death episode I broke my razor and took the blade and nicked myself. For some reason I couldn't force myself to go deeper into my skin it felt like someone was holding my wrist preventing me from going deeper". "I think your father did that he didn't want you to end up with him just yet"she replied. Criss walked over to Nikki and hugged him as tears went down his face. Nikki just hugged him back. "Thanks for being there for me and my family through this journey" he stated wiping the tears away. "Considering me your guardin angel Christopher". The door opened and Dave walked in. "Criss NBC is here". "Do you mind coming with me?"he asked. "Sure" and they walked out of Believe.

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Criss and Nikki went to a hotel room that Felix gave Criss to use for the interview. When Criss and Nikki walked in the reporter was talking to his camera man. "Christopher nice to see you again how are you" shaking his hand. "Good Chuck". Nikki stood in the background as they hooked Criss up with a microphone. "You all right for this?". Criss looked at me and took a breath. "Yea"Criss remarked. They started filming. "Well Criss tell me what's going on with you. First you were living at The Luxor now you have your own house which I got to say should be on the cover of Architural Digest now people are saying you had a breakdown" he stated. "First of all I didn't have a breakdown but last year one of my employees noticed a change in me that nobody else saw and she realized that I was and still am suffering from Depression" Criss replied.

"How did your family react to this?". "My mom helped me because I had a bout of depression when my dad passed away but I had a hard time telling my brothers wondering if they would hit the roof and JD did which as my friend puts it I jump the fence to where I was thinking of jumping off the hotel next door. That's the reason I was in a mental hospital for a pysch hold so I wouldn't be a threat to myself or thers"Criss replied. The interview went well and Criss felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulder. After the interview Criss was about to leave with Nikki when the reporter asked Criss who the employer was who realized what was going on with him. Criss looked at Nikki and she nodded. "It was me who realized what was going on with Criss". "But how exactly do you suffer from it?"he asked. "my mom a shrink so I knew some of the symptons" she said. "Criss you better not lose her as a friend"the reporter stated. "I hope I don't" and they left. After the interviewed aired things started to get back to normal or abnormal but as Criss got ready for the cement shoes demo people started to think that Criss's depression was jumping the fence to serve again. At his house Criss was thinking when Nikk walked in.

"Hey Criss"she called out. "Be right down"he called out. Nikki walked around and went into his office. She looked at all the acheivements Criss had even some of the awards that Criss has but it's when she turned to his desk Nikki couldn't believe what she saw. On the desk was a pad of paper and what looked to be some writing on it. She picked it up and read it as Criss walked in. He saw what she was reading and took it. "Is that what I think it is Criss?" Nikki inquired staring at him. "No" he replied. "Christopher please don't lie to me" she asked. "Nicole it isn'twhat you think it is". "Christopher I know what I read I've done one myself is what you just wrote true?"she asked. "Get out Nicole just leave!!"Criss ordered. "Christopher I'm going to talk to my mother and your brothers about what I just read before you do cement shoes" leaving the room. "You're going to rat me out" Criss replied following her "If it means keeping you on this earth a little while longer than yes Angel I will" and left.

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After she left Criss sat down at his desk and grabbed his phone. He dialed a number and sat back. "Dr. Charlene Sonnytag's office how may I help you?". "Can I speak to Mrs. Sonnytag it's her patient Christopher Sarantakos it's emeregency"he replied. "Hold on". As Nikki pulled into her complex she saw Criss leaning against his bike. She turned off the car and got out. "What's going on here Criss?"she asked walking over. "You were right it was what is was. I was going to end it and make it look like an accident or something,"he stated. "After you left I realized you were right and I called your mom. She wants me to wait on cement shoes for a few weeks untill I can get my head on straight". Nikki walked up to Criss and gave him a hug. "So what are you going to do since Cement shoe is on pause so to speak?" Nikki inquired smiling. "Probably the Luxor Walk it was next on the list so to speak" he stated itching his ear. "That's good Criss you want to come in for a drink?" she asked.

"Why not I've never seen your apartment before" and they went in. The next day at the office Criss was going over some stuff when Sandra walked in. "Hey Sandra what are you doing here" giving her a kiss. "Well I wanted to see you I haven't seen you much" she replied. Nikki just watched as Sandra and Criss talked and made plans for tonight since Criss had a day off from Believe. "I'll see yea tonight" and Sandra left. Criss sat down with a big smile on his face. "Now that's what I like to see Criss you with a smile on your face"she replied. "I'm going to get a drink my caffiene buzz is wearing off" and Criss left the office. After he left the phone rang so Nikki answered it. "Hello Mindfreak production office". "Hello there Nic is Christopher there?". "Sorry Holly he isn't" she replied. "You might want to make sure he isn't hanging himself or cutting his wrist"she remarked with a bit of laughter in her voice. Nikki hung up on her as Criss came in. "Who was that?" Criss asked. "You're ex," she replied. Criss sat down and started to think. "What's on your mind Mindfreak?" . "Your mother thinks my depression started to go downhill when Holly broke up with me". "Come on Criss you're the one who broke up with her. I know you and her were so cute and lovely duffy but after a while you couldn't get past the fact that she dated Hef a guy who could probably be your grandfather. That's why you broke up in my opinion" Nikki remarked

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"Yea maybe you're right"Criss stated. That night Criss and Sandra went to LAX for some fun. At the club Criss was getting something to drink at the bar. "One Martini and a beer" Criss asked. He gave Criss the beer but the Martini was blood red with a cherry stem shaped like a noose. "This isn't what I ordered Jack" Criss replied annoyed. "Can't take a joke Criss"he remarked giving him the real one. Criss took the drink and went back over to Sandra. "You all right Criss?" she asked. "Yea just a bartender being a wise " as they clinked their glasses. After the night ended Criss drove Sandra home. When Criss got home JD was waiting there. "JD what's going on is mom all right?" Criss asked. "I got a call from Nicole's mother Nikki tried to hurt herself tonight she's in the hospital". "What pushed her over the edge?" Criss asked. "Her boyfriend Marcus the marine who's overseas. He died a few days ago I guess Nikki couldn't take it,". Criss sat down. "I thought I should tell you in person". "Thanks JD" and JD left. At the hospital Nikki was in her room sleeping with her wrist were banadaged.

The door opened and someone walked in. Nikki woke up and saw Criss. "Christopher what are you doing here?" she asked as Criss sat down. "I had to see you and why you didn't tell anyone what happened that pushed you to do this"he asked. "I was doing good but I guess seeing you and Sandra made the feeling come back to the point where I couldn't handle it" she remarked with tears falling down her face. Outside her mother showed up and when she opened the door she saw her and Criss talking. Criss gave her a kiss and got up. When he came out Criss saw Nikki's mom standing there. "Criss I don't what it is but you are a great friend to my daughter". "I see that if it wasn't for Nicole I'd probably wouldn't of gotten control over my depression and I'd probably be up in heaven with my dad"Criss replied. Her mother gave him a hug and went in to the room as Criss left. The next day Criss was doing some work when George walked in. "Hey George what can I do for you?". "JD just told me that Nikki hurt herself". "Yea she's taking some time off" Criss remarked. "You look like you're ready for some time off too" he stated. "I feel like I should of seen it like she saw it with me"Criss replied. "Criss she hid it well and so did you that it took just her to realize you were suffering in silence"George explained. Criss smiled. "I guess that's another thing I'm good at hiding my feelings"Criss stated.

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That night Sandra and Criss went down to Pure to blow off some steam but Criss couldn't stop thinking of Nicole. Criss got up and went outside as Sandra followed him. "Christopher what's going on?"Sandra inquired. "I just can't stop thinking of Nicole and why she tried to end her life" Criss replied looking at the tattoo of his parents' initals on his finger. "Come on Criss why should you care if some nut ball tried to off herself" she replied. Criss turned to Sandra in shock "Sandra she isn't a nut ball she's a girl who lost her boyfriend overseas" Criss said. "She probably tried to hurt herself just to get your attention she's such a drama queen"Sandra remarked. Criss couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth "You don't get it Sandra I've been in her place and what she needs now is to know that she's got friends and family that will help her deal with the pain she's going through". "What she needs is to locked up in a mental hospital that where those type of people should be" Sandra stated.. "You mean people that want to take their own lives"Criss replied. "Yes it's immoral you can end up in hell becase of it"she stated. Criss had enough of listening to this "You know what I'm going home you can stay here" and Criss went into his office to grab his keys but Sandra followed him.

"What is up with you. You've been up and down disappearing for three days than you take offense to my beliefs". "Because last year I tried to take my own life four times but Nikki saw what was going on with me and helped me!!!" Criss yelled. Sandra took a few steps back. "You tried to-". "I've been diagonsed as having moderate depression. Those three days I disappeared is because I was commited for having suicidal thoughts and almost actting on them"Criss replied. "So Nikki was your savior?". "She suffers from it too and she saw it in me. With help from her mother who's my shrink I've been trying to get control of my depression"Criss replied. "Does your family know?". Criss nodded as tears fell down his face. "Oh Christopher I'm so sorry for saying those things I-I-I didn't know". Criss put on his coat and left leaving Sandra stunned.

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Criss drove for hours trying to clear his head before Criss knew it he was at The Valley of Fire. Criss got out of his car and sat on the ground as the car's headlights shined into the canyon. Criss just looked out into the canyons as thoughts of Death Crash played in his mind. (Past) "Criss this is like a level ten on the dangerous scale" his brother JD stated. "So what it's not like I've tried to hurt myself" Criss replied. "After White Death we thought this would be over and done no more of this dangerous life threating "Erich remarked. "If you guys don't like what I want to do there's the door" pointing to it. (Present) "Maybe my depression is making me do all these dangerous stuff. Make it look like an accident instead of suicide" Criss thought out loud. When Criss got back to his car he saw Nikki sent him a text that said:

CRISS,
I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR ME LIKE I WAS THERE FOR YOU. YOU ARE A GREAT FRIEND AND AWESOME BOSS TO BOOT. SEEING YOU FIGHT AS HARD AS I DO WITH DEPRESSION IT MAKES ME STRONG UP UNTIL LAST NIGHT THAT IS. I LOVE YOU CRISS AND I HOPE YOU CAN KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT LIKE I'M ABOUT TO. SEE IN A FEW WEEKS BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER.

NIKKI

Criss smiled and felt a bit of weight lifted off his shoulder. When he got back to the house Sandra was there sitting at the front door. Criss got out and walked over as Sandra got up. "Sandra what are you doing here?" he asked surprised to see her. "I came to apologize for saying what I said. It was insensitive for me to say that you and to insult Nikki like that considering what she's done for you" she replied. Criss walked over to her and gave her a hug. "Sandra sometimes I think you're one of the reason I'm getting better with my depression". Sandra smiled and gave a Criss on a check. "Shall we go in". "All right" and they went in.

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The next morning Criss arrived at The Luxor. He walked in and saw he was the first one there. Criss looked at Nikki's desk wishing she was there. Criss sighed and looked at some of the mail on his desk. After a while everyone showed up and went to work. During the afternoon Criss had an appointment with his shrink. In the room Criss was looking at the pictures of Nikki and her family. "Christopher nice to see you again"she remarked. "Thanks how's Nikki doing?" Criss asked sitting down. "Pretty good now how are you doing?" she replied. "Right now I feel like I'm losing Sandra". "Why do you think that Criss" she asked. Criss took a note out of his pocket. "She left me this note last night and left while I was still asleep".

Christopher,

After what you told me last night I need time to process the feelings I'm feeling so I think we need some time apart.

"So you think this is a message telling you that she wants out of the relantionship" she stated. Criss nodded. "It feel like I'm going backwards and I'm going end up back where I began. I don't want that" Criss remarked. At The Luxor JD was going over some stuff when the phone rang. "Hello". "Hey JD". "Criss so when are you coming back your run through for Believe is coming up,"he stated. Criss said nothing which was sending chills down JD's back. "Christopher are you all right?". "I don't know what I'm doing anymore it might be time to give up magic" he said. "Criss where are you you're scaring me" as Costa came in. "I just think maybe magic is the reason I'm fighting depression" Criss stated. "Come on Criss just tell me where you are and we'll talk about this". Costa saw the fear in JD's face. "Maybe I should just move out of Las Vegas and find something that doesn't have to do with magic". "Criss where are you please tell me" he asked again. Criss turned off his phone. JD hung up the phone. "JD what's going on?". "I think Criss wants be with dad"JD replied.

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Somewhere in Nevada Nikki was at faculity just walking around before group. When it came time for group she went in and sat in a circle. "Now before we start today we have a new comer to the group". Nikki turned and being wheeled in by a nurse was Criss with his arm in a cast and couple of stitches above his eye. This spooked Nikki as she excused herself to use the bathroom before group started. She splashed some water on her face. When she came back the nurse asked Criss why he was here. "I drove my car off the road and when I woke up my arms were in restrains. They told me that I tried to end my life so my shrink and my brothers told the hospital to put the restrains on me so I couldn't hurt myself again"Criss replied. After group was over Nikki volunteer to bring Criss back to his room.

"That's nice of you Nicole thank you"the nurse remarked. As she wheeled Criss said nothing. "What made you drive your car off the road?" Nikki asked. "Like you I lost someone I loved Sandra left me a Dear Criss letter and I just lost it mentally" Criss remarked. "Criss are you copying me or something"she joked as Criss chuckled. When they arrived JD was there with Costa. "Hey guys"Nikki stated. "I guess you're here too". "Your mother did say this is the best mental health factulity in Nevada"Costa added. "I should get back just make sure Criss doesn't pop a wheelie in this"she joked. JD walked over and gave Nikki a hug. "The crew misses you"JD stated. "Tell them I miss them but I'll be back" and Nikki left. "I feel like an right now"Criss stated. "What you need is a better antidepressant"JD replied. "Does mom know what I tried to do"he asked. "Yes but we told her to stay where she was for a while". "And the crew?"Criss asked. "Don't worry about the crew or Sandra just get yourself together so you don't have to take up permanent residence in this place"Costa stated. Criss thanked his brothers as they gave him hugs. That night Costa went to Serenity to feed Hammie when he saw Sandra about to knock on the door.

"Costa nice to see you I was just about to knock on the door to talk to Criss" she remarked. "He isn't here Sandra" Costa replied. "He must be doing Believe I should go down to-". "Sandra Criss isn't at The Luxor either". "Than where is he Mexico, California, New York?". "I can't tell you I'm under strict oders by his doctor not to tell anyone where he is" Costa replied and went in. The next morning Nikki was having some breakfast when one of the doctors walked over. "Nicole can talk to you in private?". She finished her breakfast and went with the doctor. "Is there something wrong?" she asked. "I was looking through your chart and I saw you work for Mindfreak Production and our new patient is your boss. I noticed that your mother is his shrink". "Believe or not Doctor Monatag I realized what Criss was going through and asked my mom for help with Criss" she remarked. "Really". "I know it seems strange but Criss is a great guy and magician when he doesn't let his depression control him"Nikki admitted. "Thank you Nikki" and the doctor left.

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A couple of days passed and people were wondering where Criss was. From drug rehab to alien abduction were the rumors. At the faculity Criss was looking out of the window when a knock came to the door. He turned and saw Nikki. "Hey Nikki" he said. "How you doing?" she asked. "So so still trying to figure out what's going on with me and if I'm ever going to be the same"Criss remarked. "Christopher there's got to be something that's making you do this stuff" Nikki stated sitting down. A knock came to the door and standing there was Nikki's mom. "Nicole what are you doing here this is for suicidal people you were taken off this ward a week ago"she replied. "Wait a minute who thinks I'm suicidal" Criss remarked. "Your brothers and me. Christopher you were going a hundred and ten when you went over that embankment if the embankment wasn't shallow you would of died" she replied. "And I told you and my brother that it was an accident I just agreed to a week here now your saying that I'm suicidal!!". "Criss something is troubling you and if we don't find out what's going on you may never leave this place"Nikki stated trying to calm Criss. "You can't keep me here doctor I've got rights!!"Criss remarked. "Criss your brothers commited you for your own health". Criss tried to leave but they grabbed Criss and restained him.

After they gave Criss a sedation medication Nikki left with her mother. "Mom are you serious if you can't control Criss's depression Criss could be commited and lose everthing he has in magic"Nikki said shocked. "Yes sweetie now go back to your room" she remarked. That night after everyone went to sleep Nikki snuck in to see Criss. "Here you go Nicole" one of the ordeals stated unlocking Criss's room. "Thanks Anthony I owe you" and walked in. She closed the door and unlocked the restrains as Criss woke up. He was surprised to see Nikki. "Nicole what are you doing you're going to get in trouble" he said. "Don't worry Christopher I wanted to talk to you alone" as Criss put his feet on the ground. "What do you want to talk about?" he asked looking out the window. "You Christopher something is triggering these feelings of wanting to die". "I wish I knew" he replied. "Criss if you don't figure it out you may never see Serenity, Hammie, your fans, or be in Believe ever again "she stated. Then Anthony came in. "Sorry to cut this short but bed checks are in a few minutes on this ward". Criss got back on the bed as they put the restraint now but Nikki saw the head nurse coming. Nikki slide under the bed as the head nurse came in. "Anthony what are you doing to this patient?"she asked. "I had to pee badly and I stop wetting the bed when I was three so I yelled untill he let me out to pee"Criss replied. "And I was putting him back in". "Did you keep the door open?". "I've never had an auidence when nature called before" Criss joked so the nurse left as Nikki popped up. "I see you can still think on your feet Christopher I have to get going before she does my floor" and Nikki snuck off.