I used to post poems on the old Loyal Community, so I thought I would give it a try here to see what you guys think. I write about my life experiences, so I hope you like them and can relate :)
I wish you could see just how much you mean to me
Sometimes at night I can barely sleep
because a whirlwind of thoughts are surrounding my brain.
I wish you would open up one last time and let me in,
just so you could see exactly how we're meant to be.
I know i've messed up countless times before,
but i'm not that young, naiive little girl anymore.
I can't face this anymore, going day by day without a single word.
I try to squeeze myself back into your life,
but you're always saying goodbye, when all I want is hello.
You're too intense, reading into every little thing,
but all these flaws just make me love you more.
I may have gotten lost in the stars so long ago,
but I've come home, to where you are.
How come you don't see me standing right in front of you,
ready to be everything you ever wanted from me?
She's not good for you, she doesn't see you like I do.
I may be losing the battle, but i'm never going to end this war.
I'll fight for you until I have nothing left to give,
until I breathe every last breath that was meant for you.
"I'll talk to you later, i'm sorry, don't forget about me <3 <3"
If you forget me, I promise I wonít mind.
I know that itís better for the both of us if we go back to the way things were before we met each other. Maybe this way, our hearts will stop aching from all this regret. Regret for leading each other on with false hope of a fairy tale ending that we secretly knew wouldnít come true, but yet couldnít stop dreaming about. The poetic words we spent hours stringing together formed beautiful pictures in our minds and I found myself recalling these images every night my insomnia kept me from sleeping.
This distance of 1 665 kilometres, 19 hours and 10 minutes, and 2 provinces away is way too much space in between. I thought that the ever-growing internet would be able to keep us connected like our hearts were, but your lack of time and care made our separation too much to overcome. Even though weíre always underneath the same sky, the same stars, moon and sun, I could no longer bear the anxiety from waiting so long.
I wish things were different. I wish we met in some other lifetime where things werenít so complicated, where the distance between you and I didnít measure a millimetre. But itís tough, wishing and not getting anywhere.
So itís best we go our separate ways, leading different lives, to never cross paths again. If over time, you forget my name, the way I look, the sound of my voice, the way my smile made your heart do backflips, I swear I wonít mind. But I promise you, unless I get amnesia, I will never forget you, and the way you made even breathing seem complicated when you were gone.
"I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you," she types in her message to him, "I'm sorry for chasing after you like the butterflies I once ran after. Maybe to me, you were my butterflies, but I get it, you didn't want to be chased. I'm sorry for being a burden, causing you all this pain and suffering. All you wanted was to be happy, but I was always grabbing your elbow, trying to stop you from leaving me behind. I'm sorry that I get mad at you and say stupid things. I know I can never take back my immature past, but I try, every day. I'm sorry that I wanted you to like me and only me. I was selfish, and that's another thing I'm sorry for. I know I cared only about myself and my happiness, and not yours. But your happiness was what mattered most. I'm sorry that I can't write you poems made out of pretty stories. I try, but I can never get it right. I'm sorry that I can't sing as beautifully as you do. If I could, every song I sang would be dedicated to you. But what does that matter anymore? I'm sorry that I'm not beautiful. I wish I was, but I guess my ugliness made your decision easier."
she pauses -
"And I'm sorry that I'm not her."
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